I usually have some witty things to say throughout the day, but I don't feel that this blog in particular is a good medium to express that.
I'd rather this place be sort of a haven where I can make really extended posts that people don't have to sit through if they're not explicitly interested.
That being said, I've made a tumblr account. I like the idea of it a lot, so I'm looking forward to using it.
If you want, follow me.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
First week is done!
Well, it's Friday – and with its fried goodness, it brings to a close the first week of school. It's been an interesting week, and every day was a reminder of how much I am looking forward to the next one.
This term I'm taking three business courses (in addition to econ and poli-sci): intro to management, business writing, and business computing. The latter is a joke class – how to use Excel, PowerPoint, Word, etc., all of which I am proficient in. The teacher spent the majority of the first class explaining that a keyboard was an "input device" and that a monitor was an "output device". I looked around the class and saw a bunch of kids from my generation and I thought – I think we're good on the keyboard thing.
My management and business writing courses are unbelievably cool, and make me wish that they were classes I took every day so I could soak in all the knowledge and wisdom faster than the professor could lecture. I'm thankful that school is much more interesting than it was back in high school. I remember most every day in high school was just as boring as the day before – there was no incentive for me to really do much more than sit around and take tests. Obviously, knowing then what I know now, I would have studied a bit harder in my underclassman years, but alas, being the wise fool that I was, I didn't do such things. No matter, the present is what's important; the past is just a reminder of how well you have to do in the present to make up for stupid mistakes.
I was successful in getting into the class I wanted (business writing), and the registrar finally processed my request to change majors (yay!), so I am officially in the business program! Yay! I celebrated last night with sushi and some sake. Yummmm =)
Not much else to say at the moment. Some other things on my mind, but the words to share said things are not with me right now. I really am a moody writer, and when I'm not in the mood to write, my writing sucks. When I am in the mood, I can paint portraits. Unfortunately, right now I'm somewhere in-between, so rather than risk the crash-bang of misused metaphors, I think I'll just keep quiet at the moment.
Love you all! =)
-skybluekid <33
Monday, January 3, 2011
Happy new year, and other news
Ah, the crisp smell of January.
When I go outside – at any time of day, but especially at night – I am awed by how quiet it is. I think I've already mentioned this in a post (yes, come to think of it, I have), but it's worth mentioning again. It's such a foreign concept to me, that any place could be so still. I always have to pause and soak it all in.
Not that I mind the sounds of the city, or anything. I find that, also, comforting – just in a different sense.
School starts tomorrow. Tomorrow being Tuesday, which is odd, since I have classes on Mondays, but not till next week, it seems. I'm very much looking forward to this term. Last term I did well, even though I only managed to score a C+ on my math. I'm not going to scoff at getting that in a math class, though. I'm going to start taking more of the classes having to do with my major (which is business) – intro to management, business computing (which should be a breeze since I already know how to use MS Office), and business writing. I hear the business writing prof is one of those instructors who says, "in my class, you'll never get an A, so I start all grading at 80% [which is the start of the 'B' grade in Canada]". I've not had any experience with her personally, but if this is her attitude, then I think I'm going to have an issue.
Writing is like my soul. I cherish the ability to think and speak in the manner of poets and playwrights. I have also always been terribly good at writing business documents (letters, contracts, etc), and had to help my dad on more than one occasion because his English is not very good, and he has a business to run. I'm not saying I'm perfect – far from it. I'm not even saying I'm A material right off the bat. But to never be able to attain an A in her class at all? No matter how much I try? Upsetting. But rumors, at the moment. We shall see. I got nearly perfect in my accounting class, which I think speaks volumes about what I can achieve if I put my mind to it.
Speaking of writing, a few weeks ago I started exchanging emails and IMs with a boy named Nik, also from SoCal. He took an interest in the fact that I mentioned I wrote fiction, and I passed him along a chapter or two from my latest work. In exchange, he sent me some stuff too, and when I took the time to read it, I discovered how great of an author he really is. It's made me want to go back and re-write several bits and pieces. I'm mentioning this because I finally motivated him enough to start his own blog, and he asked me if I could link him.
So here's his blog, Skyboys. Add him to your RSS if you're so inclined =)
Anywho, I need a haircut, pretty darn badly. So I am going to do that today, and figure out what books I need to buy for school.
Until next time, love you all!
-skybluekid <33
When I go outside – at any time of day, but especially at night – I am awed by how quiet it is. I think I've already mentioned this in a post (yes, come to think of it, I have), but it's worth mentioning again. It's such a foreign concept to me, that any place could be so still. I always have to pause and soak it all in.
Not that I mind the sounds of the city, or anything. I find that, also, comforting – just in a different sense.
School starts tomorrow. Tomorrow being Tuesday, which is odd, since I have classes on Mondays, but not till next week, it seems. I'm very much looking forward to this term. Last term I did well, even though I only managed to score a C+ on my math. I'm not going to scoff at getting that in a math class, though. I'm going to start taking more of the classes having to do with my major (which is business) – intro to management, business computing (which should be a breeze since I already know how to use MS Office), and business writing. I hear the business writing prof is one of those instructors who says, "in my class, you'll never get an A, so I start all grading at 80% [which is the start of the 'B' grade in Canada]". I've not had any experience with her personally, but if this is her attitude, then I think I'm going to have an issue.
Writing is like my soul. I cherish the ability to think and speak in the manner of poets and playwrights. I have also always been terribly good at writing business documents (letters, contracts, etc), and had to help my dad on more than one occasion because his English is not very good, and he has a business to run. I'm not saying I'm perfect – far from it. I'm not even saying I'm A material right off the bat. But to never be able to attain an A in her class at all? No matter how much I try? Upsetting. But rumors, at the moment. We shall see. I got nearly perfect in my accounting class, which I think speaks volumes about what I can achieve if I put my mind to it.
Speaking of writing, a few weeks ago I started exchanging emails and IMs with a boy named Nik, also from SoCal. He took an interest in the fact that I mentioned I wrote fiction, and I passed him along a chapter or two from my latest work. In exchange, he sent me some stuff too, and when I took the time to read it, I discovered how great of an author he really is. It's made me want to go back and re-write several bits and pieces. I'm mentioning this because I finally motivated him enough to start his own blog, and he asked me if I could link him.
So here's his blog, Skyboys. Add him to your RSS if you're so inclined =)
Anywho, I need a haircut, pretty darn badly. So I am going to do that today, and figure out what books I need to buy for school.
Until next time, love you all!
-skybluekid <33
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Random post of cuteness
I always loved the roof of my house. It was easy to get on to, because my dad's toolshed had a lower roof and was next to the brick wall separating our yard from the neighbor's; so I'd climb up on the wall, on top of the shed, and onto the roof of the house.
I wouldn't go up very often, but when I did, it felt liberating. Most of the houses in my neighborhood were single-story, so perched atop the roof, I spied a vast sea of houses spreading from horizon to horizon – the suburbs of Los Angeles County. And from my vantage point, I felt free, and sort of disconnected from the world, but at the same time strongly linked to everything and everyone around me. It's a feeling I miss, and one that I haven't experienced for a long time, but this picture reminded me of it.
I don't know why, but I felt I had to share that. Anyway, back to regularly-scheduled programming: me not posting. Hahaha
Hope everyone's doing great though. The new year rears its lovely head in just over a day! =)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
The holidays and why I hate religion
A few years ago I would have said, "Merry Christmas," but it seems as though the amount of time I spent in Catholic schools has made me less and less religious. I was quite a fervent believer when I was a child, but not so much now. I've realized how much devastation, sadness, and mayhem religion causes throughout the world, even the allegedly less-militant religions like Christianity.
I can't begin to tell you how many times I have suffered under the judgement of someone who called themselves a Christian. Someone who, on one hand preaches the tenets of Jesus – who himself said, "judge not, lest ye be judged" – but on the other hand slathers everyone around them with the label "sinner" or "heathen".
One of the first people I came out to was my best friend from middle school – we'll call him Charlie. Charlie and I had known each other since the sixth grade, even though we only went to the same school for one year. We had so many things in common – from our interests to our humor, to even how we approached things like school (not very well back then, but at least we had that in common). Despite not being at the same school after sixth grade, we kept in touch. He lived on the other side of LA – about a forty minute drive – but maybe once every couple of months we'd get together and spend a weekend at each others' houses. We'd stay up all night and play games, talk about Dungeons & Dragons, and do other nerdy things. Outside of those few weekends we'd spend hanging out, we'd keep in touch over the Internet on AIM or ICQ.
When I finally learned how to drive, I'd take more frequent trips up to see him, and he'd do the same when he got his license. We knew each other so well, and had such a connection, that I couldn't help but believe he knew my secret. I had never had a girlfriend (well, I had one, but she wasn't really a "girlfriend", per se), I never talked about girls, and when I would write my stories, I would never include them. I figured all of this would amount to some evidence that made him realize that I was gay, and that he wasn't saying anything, or asking anything, because he respected my privacy.
Interestingly, he was always a bit girly himself. I thought for a bit, when I was younger, that he might be gay, but I immediately dismissed it as ridiculous because he talked about girls all the time, and he also included them in his stories all the time. He drew them, had them as wallpapers, and all sorts of things. Anime girls (he's Asian, so I guess that's not a surprise, necessarily), but girls nonetheless. Some time after I came out to him, he confided in me that, for a while, he had been struggling with his own secret: gender identity. He identified more with being a female tomboy, who was a lesbian, than being a male who liked women. He later "got over that phase", and while I am sure he still has those feelings, he's not really going to address them any more than he did. He did tell me some other things about his struggles during his high school years, but out of respect for him, I won't share them, even here, where no one in the world would ever find out his identity.
Stepping backward a bit, when I finally was comfortable with myself enough to come out to someone, I felt who would be a better choice than him? He knew me better than anyone had ever known me before, and I felt I owed him a bit of honesty.
So one balmy Saturday night, after we had gone to get some food from the only Carl's Jr open after midnight in his city, I told him.
"I've known I've been gay since I was really young," I said simply. I worked it into the conversation so the segue made sense. I think it was so smooth that he didn't immediately react.
"Wait, what?" he said. "You're gay?"
I nodded. "I'm sure you've already figured that out, all these years," I said. My heart was pounding, and I was searching his face for any any semblance of information – that little blip that would betray his thinking. There was nothing but surprise.
"Wow," he said. "No, I had no idea."
We talked for a bit longer. He seemed comfortable albeit a bit caught off-guard. I went home thinking, it wasn't so bad. It wasn't good, in the sense that he was totally 100% okay with it, but it wasn't bad.
When we next met up, we got into a discussion again, this time about religion. I knew he was religious – that a few years previously, he'd taken after his mom and joined a church, and started going to bible study and the like – but I didn't know to what extent. He never really talked about his faith, and never really showed it outside of praying before meals. Inevitably, he segued over to how religion views homosexuality. He says, "God considers it a sin."
I shot back, "Does he?"
He seemed pretty sure of himself. I explained.
"Look," I said. "The bible talks about homosexuality once in the Old Testament. It's along the same lines as how it talks about eating shellfish, or dealing with a rebellious son: all of them are 'abominations' and require one to be put to death."
He seemed interested so I continued. "Basically, all those other laws are not applicable, so why is this one? Why did we choose to listen to this law and not the others? In the New Testament it's not even mentioned by Jesus, but by Paul, who also said that women are subservient to men, and a bunch of other things we don't consider valid today. So again, why concentrate on this particular one, and not the rest?"
He shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "But my Pastor says that God is pretty clear on this."
"Maybe you should ask him," I said. "I think you should get his take on why we take this law so seriously and not the other laws that we consider archaic."
He shook his head, "I don't really want to."
"Why not? There's value in asking questions about your teachings. It's how you learn more."
"Like I said, I don't really want to," he replied. "It's okay – we all sin. Me, you – everyone."
"It's not a sin–" I said, getting angry. I felt I was going to cry.
"I can't look at it any other way."
So there it was. He was calling me a sinner, and not even taking to heart what I said about the bible – the book that I studied for over a decade in my years growing up with Catholic school. I had read it from cover to cover – literally – and have critically analyzed its pages over the years. I doubt he could say the same, but yet here we were. And perhaps most angering, he didn't even want to ask his pastor about it. All he said was, "I don't really want to," – case closed.
I was very hurt, disappointed, and disillusioned – but most of all, I was angry. I wasn't angry at him (well, maybe a little bit, for his willful ignorance), but angry at religion in general: it took away my best friend's support from me, and put it in the hands of his peers, who gladly sat around judging everyone who came past, but never once looking at themselves.
I came to the conclusion a while later that one of the primary requirements of religion was to feel guilt. This guilt doesn't have to have a source: you should just feel guilty for living (after all, original sin is your fault). I've heard and read about how terribly this guilt affects peoples' daily lives; how they have sleepless nights thinking about death and about going to hell, and how they can't wait to atone for their sins, only to be cast back to the guilty because of something they did or thought they did. It's a never-ending cycle. In the meantime they see us: the "sinners" and the "heathens", going about our daily lives, free of this great cloud of guilt which surrounds their every waking (and dreaming) moment, and they are disgusted. So they judge, and they cast their judgement upon us, so that we may "come to the light," AKA feel guilty like they are. It's a two-birds-one-stone deal: their jealousy towards us is gone, and now we are just as miserable as they are. And you know what they say about misery loving company.
But very rarely is a religious person able to "save" a heathen like us rabid homosexuals from the fires of hell, so they attempt to legislate morality instead, so even though we don't feel this deep, shameful guilt like they do, we can't be happy with our lives anyway, because we lack the fundamental rights that they do.
This is why they are so scared of us getting equal treatment. It's not because they feel that we're going to "ruin America" (although, they probably talked themselves into believing that); it's because if they can't lord themselves over us using our basic human rights anymore, then they lose all control over us, and their ability to feel schadenfreude at-will, and consequently feel better about themselves (and vastly superior), even if for a faint moment.
That's why I hate religion, and why the holidays are close behind.
I can't begin to tell you how many times I have suffered under the judgement of someone who called themselves a Christian. Someone who, on one hand preaches the tenets of Jesus – who himself said, "judge not, lest ye be judged" – but on the other hand slathers everyone around them with the label "sinner" or "heathen".
One of the first people I came out to was my best friend from middle school – we'll call him Charlie. Charlie and I had known each other since the sixth grade, even though we only went to the same school for one year. We had so many things in common – from our interests to our humor, to even how we approached things like school (not very well back then, but at least we had that in common). Despite not being at the same school after sixth grade, we kept in touch. He lived on the other side of LA – about a forty minute drive – but maybe once every couple of months we'd get together and spend a weekend at each others' houses. We'd stay up all night and play games, talk about Dungeons & Dragons, and do other nerdy things. Outside of those few weekends we'd spend hanging out, we'd keep in touch over the Internet on AIM or ICQ.
When I finally learned how to drive, I'd take more frequent trips up to see him, and he'd do the same when he got his license. We knew each other so well, and had such a connection, that I couldn't help but believe he knew my secret. I had never had a girlfriend (well, I had one, but she wasn't really a "girlfriend", per se), I never talked about girls, and when I would write my stories, I would never include them. I figured all of this would amount to some evidence that made him realize that I was gay, and that he wasn't saying anything, or asking anything, because he respected my privacy.
Interestingly, he was always a bit girly himself. I thought for a bit, when I was younger, that he might be gay, but I immediately dismissed it as ridiculous because he talked about girls all the time, and he also included them in his stories all the time. He drew them, had them as wallpapers, and all sorts of things. Anime girls (he's Asian, so I guess that's not a surprise, necessarily), but girls nonetheless. Some time after I came out to him, he confided in me that, for a while, he had been struggling with his own secret: gender identity. He identified more with being a female tomboy, who was a lesbian, than being a male who liked women. He later "got over that phase", and while I am sure he still has those feelings, he's not really going to address them any more than he did. He did tell me some other things about his struggles during his high school years, but out of respect for him, I won't share them, even here, where no one in the world would ever find out his identity.
Stepping backward a bit, when I finally was comfortable with myself enough to come out to someone, I felt who would be a better choice than him? He knew me better than anyone had ever known me before, and I felt I owed him a bit of honesty.
So one balmy Saturday night, after we had gone to get some food from the only Carl's Jr open after midnight in his city, I told him.
"I've known I've been gay since I was really young," I said simply. I worked it into the conversation so the segue made sense. I think it was so smooth that he didn't immediately react.
"Wait, what?" he said. "You're gay?"
I nodded. "I'm sure you've already figured that out, all these years," I said. My heart was pounding, and I was searching his face for any any semblance of information – that little blip that would betray his thinking. There was nothing but surprise.
"Wow," he said. "No, I had no idea."
We talked for a bit longer. He seemed comfortable albeit a bit caught off-guard. I went home thinking, it wasn't so bad. It wasn't good, in the sense that he was totally 100% okay with it, but it wasn't bad.
When we next met up, we got into a discussion again, this time about religion. I knew he was religious – that a few years previously, he'd taken after his mom and joined a church, and started going to bible study and the like – but I didn't know to what extent. He never really talked about his faith, and never really showed it outside of praying before meals. Inevitably, he segued over to how religion views homosexuality. He says, "God considers it a sin."
I shot back, "Does he?"
He seemed pretty sure of himself. I explained.
"Look," I said. "The bible talks about homosexuality once in the Old Testament. It's along the same lines as how it talks about eating shellfish, or dealing with a rebellious son: all of them are 'abominations' and require one to be put to death."
He seemed interested so I continued. "Basically, all those other laws are not applicable, so why is this one? Why did we choose to listen to this law and not the others? In the New Testament it's not even mentioned by Jesus, but by Paul, who also said that women are subservient to men, and a bunch of other things we don't consider valid today. So again, why concentrate on this particular one, and not the rest?"
He shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "But my Pastor says that God is pretty clear on this."
"Maybe you should ask him," I said. "I think you should get his take on why we take this law so seriously and not the other laws that we consider archaic."
He shook his head, "I don't really want to."
"Why not? There's value in asking questions about your teachings. It's how you learn more."
"Like I said, I don't really want to," he replied. "It's okay – we all sin. Me, you – everyone."
"It's not a sin–" I said, getting angry. I felt I was going to cry.
"I can't look at it any other way."
So there it was. He was calling me a sinner, and not even taking to heart what I said about the bible – the book that I studied for over a decade in my years growing up with Catholic school. I had read it from cover to cover – literally – and have critically analyzed its pages over the years. I doubt he could say the same, but yet here we were. And perhaps most angering, he didn't even want to ask his pastor about it. All he said was, "I don't really want to," – case closed.
I was very hurt, disappointed, and disillusioned – but most of all, I was angry. I wasn't angry at him (well, maybe a little bit, for his willful ignorance), but angry at religion in general: it took away my best friend's support from me, and put it in the hands of his peers, who gladly sat around judging everyone who came past, but never once looking at themselves.
I came to the conclusion a while later that one of the primary requirements of religion was to feel guilt. This guilt doesn't have to have a source: you should just feel guilty for living (after all, original sin is your fault). I've heard and read about how terribly this guilt affects peoples' daily lives; how they have sleepless nights thinking about death and about going to hell, and how they can't wait to atone for their sins, only to be cast back to the guilty because of something they did or thought they did. It's a never-ending cycle. In the meantime they see us: the "sinners" and the "heathens", going about our daily lives, free of this great cloud of guilt which surrounds their every waking (and dreaming) moment, and they are disgusted. So they judge, and they cast their judgement upon us, so that we may "come to the light," AKA feel guilty like they are. It's a two-birds-one-stone deal: their jealousy towards us is gone, and now we are just as miserable as they are. And you know what they say about misery loving company.
But very rarely is a religious person able to "save" a heathen like us rabid homosexuals from the fires of hell, so they attempt to legislate morality instead, so even though we don't feel this deep, shameful guilt like they do, we can't be happy with our lives anyway, because we lack the fundamental rights that they do.
This is why they are so scared of us getting equal treatment. It's not because they feel that we're going to "ruin America" (although, they probably talked themselves into believing that); it's because if they can't lord themselves over us using our basic human rights anymore, then they lose all control over us, and their ability to feel schadenfreude at-will, and consequently feel better about themselves (and vastly superior), even if for a faint moment.
That's why I hate religion, and why the holidays are close behind.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Well I can check that off my list
Semester? Done!
Indeed, things wrapped up nicely yesterday as I took my last final. I have no idea what my grades are going to be; I can't even fathom. I'm hoping they're decently high, as I have lots of plans for what I want to do after I get my bachelor's =3
So, I haven't been around much. For that I apologize. I owe lots of people emails and whatnot that I've been neglecting. I know, previously I said I would write more often, but as it turned out, that became virtually impossible as time went on, with lots of homework, and studying, and all sorts of not-so-fun-stuff. But! In the end, I think it was worth it. Things are looking good.
Next term starts in about two weeks, and I'm looking forward to it. There will be some really interesting classes that I'm definitely excited about =)
The first snow fell a few weeks ago, and it's been really cold lately. Nightly temperatures are in the double-digit negative range, which means my car has trouble starting in the morning. I got winter tires few days after the first heavy snowfall, but I haven't gotten a block heater yet (mainly because I haven't been able to afford it). I think it's close to $240 to get it installed, so I've been putting it off. So far, my car's been able to start every time, despite the cold, so it's possible I may be able to get away with not having it this winter. I don't know what cold oil does to the engine, though, so it may be that I should get one anyway, or I'll be ruining my car.
I don't spend much time outside, thankfully, because it's really very cold, but if the wind isn't blowing, it's actually bearable. Our finals were held in a building way way far away from where the normal cluster of buildings are, so I ended up walking quite a ways to get there. There's something of a wind tunnel on campus between some buildings, and it just so happened that I had to pass through that tunnel, so it wasn't fun, I'll tell you.
Things with Kyle have been uneventful. His program is a lot more difficult than mine (plus it's not his first year), so most of his time is spent doing labs, studying, and reading. I had a lot of homework, too, but it's more tedious and time-consuming than it is difficult. I'm sure things will become more challenging as time goes on (if my econ test is an accurate predictor, it will), but so far it's been steady. I picked up some work from a friend of mine at home (computery stuff) that I finished up a couple of weeks ago. Proceeds from said project will help pay down my debt, and I've been told another project may be up-coming. So for this, I am happy. I've not been able to find a job on-campus (most all work is OWSP, which is part of the work-study program, and international students cannot participate in that; the few jobs that aren't OWSP aren't hiring at the moment), so I'm glad I got some work in the meantime. I can finally get a job in-town around March of next year, so this should hold me off until then.
Other than that, daily life just sort of is at the moment. Many days it feels like I'm waiting for something to happen, but I realize that there isn't anything. This is my life at the moment. I think I'm having trouble settling into that thought, and so I'm a bit wound up because of it sometimes (i.e., I feel like I'm neglecting some responsibility that I don't actually have). I don't know why I'm having such difficulty adjusting to life up here, but I think it's gotten better over time. I'm sure I'll get used to it the more time goes by. I miss a lot of my friends from back home, but I've made a lot of good ones here, too. I've been to a few parties, and had some decent fun, so the good times are only beginning.
Over break, I plan to not do much of anything. Just relax, play games, and eat good holiday food. I think I can get on-board with that. Come January, if all goes well, I'll have a pretty tight schedule that I'll need to balance. It will be fun, and difficult, but worthwhile. I can feel it.
Happy holidays to all of you out there =) I don't know when I'll write again. Only when I have something substantive to say (ha ha, that never happens =P), which I hope happens sooner rather than later. You've all been great <33
-skybluekid
Indeed, things wrapped up nicely yesterday as I took my last final. I have no idea what my grades are going to be; I can't even fathom. I'm hoping they're decently high, as I have lots of plans for what I want to do after I get my bachelor's =3
So, I haven't been around much. For that I apologize. I owe lots of people emails and whatnot that I've been neglecting. I know, previously I said I would write more often, but as it turned out, that became virtually impossible as time went on, with lots of homework, and studying, and all sorts of not-so-fun-stuff. But! In the end, I think it was worth it. Things are looking good.
Next term starts in about two weeks, and I'm looking forward to it. There will be some really interesting classes that I'm definitely excited about =)
The first snow fell a few weeks ago, and it's been really cold lately. Nightly temperatures are in the double-digit negative range, which means my car has trouble starting in the morning. I got winter tires few days after the first heavy snowfall, but I haven't gotten a block heater yet (mainly because I haven't been able to afford it). I think it's close to $240 to get it installed, so I've been putting it off. So far, my car's been able to start every time, despite the cold, so it's possible I may be able to get away with not having it this winter. I don't know what cold oil does to the engine, though, so it may be that I should get one anyway, or I'll be ruining my car.
I don't spend much time outside, thankfully, because it's really very cold, but if the wind isn't blowing, it's actually bearable. Our finals were held in a building way way far away from where the normal cluster of buildings are, so I ended up walking quite a ways to get there. There's something of a wind tunnel on campus between some buildings, and it just so happened that I had to pass through that tunnel, so it wasn't fun, I'll tell you.
Things with Kyle have been uneventful. His program is a lot more difficult than mine (plus it's not his first year), so most of his time is spent doing labs, studying, and reading. I had a lot of homework, too, but it's more tedious and time-consuming than it is difficult. I'm sure things will become more challenging as time goes on (if my econ test is an accurate predictor, it will), but so far it's been steady. I picked up some work from a friend of mine at home (computery stuff) that I finished up a couple of weeks ago. Proceeds from said project will help pay down my debt, and I've been told another project may be up-coming. So for this, I am happy. I've not been able to find a job on-campus (most all work is OWSP, which is part of the work-study program, and international students cannot participate in that; the few jobs that aren't OWSP aren't hiring at the moment), so I'm glad I got some work in the meantime. I can finally get a job in-town around March of next year, so this should hold me off until then.
Other than that, daily life just sort of is at the moment. Many days it feels like I'm waiting for something to happen, but I realize that there isn't anything. This is my life at the moment. I think I'm having trouble settling into that thought, and so I'm a bit wound up because of it sometimes (i.e., I feel like I'm neglecting some responsibility that I don't actually have). I don't know why I'm having such difficulty adjusting to life up here, but I think it's gotten better over time. I'm sure I'll get used to it the more time goes by. I miss a lot of my friends from back home, but I've made a lot of good ones here, too. I've been to a few parties, and had some decent fun, so the good times are only beginning.
Over break, I plan to not do much of anything. Just relax, play games, and eat good holiday food. I think I can get on-board with that. Come January, if all goes well, I'll have a pretty tight schedule that I'll need to balance. It will be fun, and difficult, but worthwhile. I can feel it.
Happy holidays to all of you out there =) I don't know when I'll write again. Only when I have something substantive to say (ha ha, that never happens =P), which I hope happens sooner rather than later. You've all been great <33
-skybluekid
Friday, November 5, 2010
OMGHI
Wow, it's been nearly two weeks!
I've been so busy, it's unreal. I have two more tests next week, one in Econ, where the prof is so terrible I literally have to go back to the beginning of the book and re-read the text =\ A lot depends on this test, too, so I've really gotta put my foot down and learn that shit.
Things have been going well. I think I'm finally starting to feel at home, even though there are times when I miss LA, its sunshine, and the activity. It's a huge contrast to this place.
I've been writing for the student newspaper here. So far my stories have been liked by all, and one of them even made the front page of last week's issue! This week I'm writing about the recent midterm elections in the U.S. (which I am extremely disappointed in, but that's a story for another day).
I've also been meaning to work out some. I've probably lost around 20 lbs since I've gotten here, mostly for two reasons: 1) the cafeteria food sucks, and 2) I'm so busy all the time, I barely have time to eat. I think it helps that food is also really expensive. I should be down to 160 soon, which is perfect for my height. Then I just need to work out a bit so I'm toned, like I was when I was a freshman/sophomore in high school, when I was in martial arts and kicking ass =P
Other than that, life is good. There are ups and downs every day, and I've been a generally melancholy person lately. I don't know if it's the weather, the stress of school, or whatever... but I do know that I need to change my default disposition to something a bit more happy. No use being glum when there is so much life to live!
I'm sure I'll have more to say over the weekend. I promise I'll write! I've been so busy. I've also neglected emailing people and hopping on IM. I'm sorry to all of you =( I promise I'll make it up somehow! <33
-skybluekid
I've been so busy, it's unreal. I have two more tests next week, one in Econ, where the prof is so terrible I literally have to go back to the beginning of the book and re-read the text =\ A lot depends on this test, too, so I've really gotta put my foot down and learn that shit.
Things have been going well. I think I'm finally starting to feel at home, even though there are times when I miss LA, its sunshine, and the activity. It's a huge contrast to this place.
I've been writing for the student newspaper here. So far my stories have been liked by all, and one of them even made the front page of last week's issue! This week I'm writing about the recent midterm elections in the U.S. (which I am extremely disappointed in, but that's a story for another day).
I've also been meaning to work out some. I've probably lost around 20 lbs since I've gotten here, mostly for two reasons: 1) the cafeteria food sucks, and 2) I'm so busy all the time, I barely have time to eat. I think it helps that food is also really expensive. I should be down to 160 soon, which is perfect for my height. Then I just need to work out a bit so I'm toned, like I was when I was a freshman/sophomore in high school, when I was in martial arts and kicking ass =P
Other than that, life is good. There are ups and downs every day, and I've been a generally melancholy person lately. I don't know if it's the weather, the stress of school, or whatever... but I do know that I need to change my default disposition to something a bit more happy. No use being glum when there is so much life to live!
I'm sure I'll have more to say over the weekend. I promise I'll write! I've been so busy. I've also neglected emailing people and hopping on IM. I'm sorry to all of you =( I promise I'll make it up somehow! <33
-skybluekid
Saturday, October 23, 2010
A bit of a relief
So I ended up getting a 70% on my math midterm. A 70% exactly.
Way better than I thought, but not as good as it could have been. My messing up the special triangles notwithstanding, I made some dumb mistakes that probably cost me a good 5 or 6 points, and if I had done the special triangles correctly, I would have gotten at least another six points on top of that, possibly bringing me up to the 80%+ range. Ugh.
Oh, well. It's better than failing, and I still have a chance of getting an 80% in the class if I play my cards right.
Time to have a good weekend =) It's going to be relaxing. I'm doing stuff at the newspaper today for a bit but other than that, free time for me =)
^_^
-skybluekid
Way better than I thought, but not as good as it could have been. My messing up the special triangles notwithstanding, I made some dumb mistakes that probably cost me a good 5 or 6 points, and if I had done the special triangles correctly, I would have gotten at least another six points on top of that, possibly bringing me up to the 80%+ range. Ugh.
Oh, well. It's better than failing, and I still have a chance of getting an 80% in the class if I play my cards right.
Time to have a good weekend =) It's going to be relaxing. I'm doing stuff at the newspaper today for a bit but other than that, free time for me =)
^_^
-skybluekid
Friday, October 22, 2010
My brain on math
It's been a week of ups and downs, but it's ending on a high note, so I'm actually content.
My math test on Tuesday would have been fine, but it turned out to be a semi-disaster. I'm usually decent at remembering things, and tests of the brainy sense have said that I have a bit of an eidetic memory. It's usually limited to things I consciously try to remember, and it has to be visual (though I think that's a prerequisite anywhere). But if circumstances are right, I can usually recall a piece of information rather accurately, without trying. No mnemonics, no swiftly-jotted notes, no recall tricks. I just remember.
On the other hand, abstract concepts elude me. Abstract in the sense that, those things have no deeper meaning, like numbers. Numbers and equations, to me, mean nothing, so I have a hard time remembering them, picturing them, and manipulating them in my head. They're purely analytical; a representation of a static state of being – in the sense that they're numbers and represent something unchanging. I guess my brain has a problem with that, and spits out useless dribble when I attempt to remember anything to do with numbers.
That being said, I took the time Tuesday morning to glance over my notes, using my gift of memory and trying to soak up everything on the pages so that I can come back to it later. One of those things were the Special Triangles, with their sides and their angles. I had trouble remembering what the proper orientation of the 30/60/90 triangle is, in the sense that, what its side lengths were (1, 2, root-3) relative to its angles. So I looked at the triangle and remembered that, if it is drawn with the 90º side on the right, the sides were, going counter-clockwise, 1, 2, root-3. Easy enough.
Except I forgot to actually look at the angles associated with those lengths, namely the 30º and 60º sides. It totally slipped my mind, to even take notice of that. So come the test, I was suddenly unable to remember if the 30º angle was on the top, or the left. It really was a 50/50 choice, and it turns out I chose wrong.
So all my answers, which used the special triangle, are wrong. And that was about 60% of the test.
During the last ten minutes of the test, I suddenly realized that I may have chosen incorrectly. I wasn't sure, though. I knew the 45/45/90 triangle, along with its lengths, and tried to picture that triangle resizing – like doing a free transform in photoshop – into a 30/60/90 triangle, and picturing which angles were getting smaller and larger. But, despite my suspicions I had chosen incorrectly, I turned in my test. To be fair, I would not have had enough time to correct all my answers anyway.
My only saving grace is the understanding that the instructor gives partial-credit. I hope he realizes my mistake when he sees what I did with my special triangles, and at least gives me some reasonable points for my effort. If I'm lucky, I passed. If I'm unlucky, I failed. If I failed the midterm, because of a stupid mistake, I'm going to be infinitely pissed off. I still have a chance to pass the course, but it doesn't look promising.
So that was my big worry of the week. I don't find out what I got, I think, until later next week, though it's possible I could find out as early as today. I'll let you know >.<
I got back my accounting midterm, and saw that I had gotten a 100%, so that definitely made me very happy ^_^ I don't yet know what I got in geology, and my econ midterm is next month sometime.
On Monday I went to the meeting with the newspaper staff, and got assigned an article. It's a big story going on at school, and it's possibly front-page material. They didn't trust me enough to do it by myself, though, which is fair, considering they don't know me, so they assigned the editor to the story, too, and let us loose. Well, the editor read my draft on Wednesday and decided I don't need any help =) so she let me finish it up by myself =) I had a great time, and talked to a lot of interesting people. I interviewed the president of the student union, a dean of an affiliated medical school, and a local community leader. I submitted my final draft yesterday, and was happy to hear from the editor-in-chief that he was very, very happy with my article. And he loved my writing style ^_^ So it looks like I scored big on this, and I'll be getting to do more storied =) One of the editors even suggested I apply for an editor position next year!
I spoke with the IT department after my test on Tuesday. The manager was very interested in hiring me, and said he would get back to me soon. He said it was a bit of an issue, because they actually needed a full-time person, but he seemed impressed with my résumé and said he'll try to work around those issues. I haven't heard back from him yet, but I figured I'd stop by next week, either on Monday or Tuesday, to check in with how things are going.
And finally, I got my iPhone in the mail yesterday. Finally I can get rid of this POS Sony Ericsson.
So yes, a nice closure to a pretty hairy week. Today's a meeting with the newspaper as well, and free pizza to go along, so I've got that to look forward to =)
Unless I hear back from my math prof today regarding my test, I can safely say it's a nice way to end the week. If I do hear back about my grade, it's going to be a 50/50 chance that I'll have a good weekend, or a weekend filled with dread.
I hope it's the former, srsly.
As always, I hope all of you are doing great =) I wasn't on IM a lot this week because of all this work, so I'm sorry if I missed you. There are a few emails I haven't responded to, yet, that I promise I will!
Love you all <33
-skybluekid
My math test on Tuesday would have been fine, but it turned out to be a semi-disaster. I'm usually decent at remembering things, and tests of the brainy sense have said that I have a bit of an eidetic memory. It's usually limited to things I consciously try to remember, and it has to be visual (though I think that's a prerequisite anywhere). But if circumstances are right, I can usually recall a piece of information rather accurately, without trying. No mnemonics, no swiftly-jotted notes, no recall tricks. I just remember.
On the other hand, abstract concepts elude me. Abstract in the sense that, those things have no deeper meaning, like numbers. Numbers and equations, to me, mean nothing, so I have a hard time remembering them, picturing them, and manipulating them in my head. They're purely analytical; a representation of a static state of being – in the sense that they're numbers and represent something unchanging. I guess my brain has a problem with that, and spits out useless dribble when I attempt to remember anything to do with numbers.
That being said, I took the time Tuesday morning to glance over my notes, using my gift of memory and trying to soak up everything on the pages so that I can come back to it later. One of those things were the Special Triangles, with their sides and their angles. I had trouble remembering what the proper orientation of the 30/60/90 triangle is, in the sense that, what its side lengths were (1, 2, root-3) relative to its angles. So I looked at the triangle and remembered that, if it is drawn with the 90º side on the right, the sides were, going counter-clockwise, 1, 2, root-3. Easy enough.
Except I forgot to actually look at the angles associated with those lengths, namely the 30º and 60º sides. It totally slipped my mind, to even take notice of that. So come the test, I was suddenly unable to remember if the 30º angle was on the top, or the left. It really was a 50/50 choice, and it turns out I chose wrong.
So all my answers, which used the special triangle, are wrong. And that was about 60% of the test.
During the last ten minutes of the test, I suddenly realized that I may have chosen incorrectly. I wasn't sure, though. I knew the 45/45/90 triangle, along with its lengths, and tried to picture that triangle resizing – like doing a free transform in photoshop – into a 30/60/90 triangle, and picturing which angles were getting smaller and larger. But, despite my suspicions I had chosen incorrectly, I turned in my test. To be fair, I would not have had enough time to correct all my answers anyway.
My only saving grace is the understanding that the instructor gives partial-credit. I hope he realizes my mistake when he sees what I did with my special triangles, and at least gives me some reasonable points for my effort. If I'm lucky, I passed. If I'm unlucky, I failed. If I failed the midterm, because of a stupid mistake, I'm going to be infinitely pissed off. I still have a chance to pass the course, but it doesn't look promising.
So that was my big worry of the week. I don't find out what I got, I think, until later next week, though it's possible I could find out as early as today. I'll let you know >.<
I got back my accounting midterm, and saw that I had gotten a 100%, so that definitely made me very happy ^_^ I don't yet know what I got in geology, and my econ midterm is next month sometime.
On Monday I went to the meeting with the newspaper staff, and got assigned an article. It's a big story going on at school, and it's possibly front-page material. They didn't trust me enough to do it by myself, though, which is fair, considering they don't know me, so they assigned the editor to the story, too, and let us loose. Well, the editor read my draft on Wednesday and decided I don't need any help =) so she let me finish it up by myself =) I had a great time, and talked to a lot of interesting people. I interviewed the president of the student union, a dean of an affiliated medical school, and a local community leader. I submitted my final draft yesterday, and was happy to hear from the editor-in-chief that he was very, very happy with my article. And he loved my writing style ^_^ So it looks like I scored big on this, and I'll be getting to do more storied =) One of the editors even suggested I apply for an editor position next year!
I spoke with the IT department after my test on Tuesday. The manager was very interested in hiring me, and said he would get back to me soon. He said it was a bit of an issue, because they actually needed a full-time person, but he seemed impressed with my résumé and said he'll try to work around those issues. I haven't heard back from him yet, but I figured I'd stop by next week, either on Monday or Tuesday, to check in with how things are going.
And finally, I got my iPhone in the mail yesterday. Finally I can get rid of this POS Sony Ericsson.
So yes, a nice closure to a pretty hairy week. Today's a meeting with the newspaper as well, and free pizza to go along, so I've got that to look forward to =)
Unless I hear back from my math prof today regarding my test, I can safely say it's a nice way to end the week. If I do hear back about my grade, it's going to be a 50/50 chance that I'll have a good weekend, or a weekend filled with dread.
I hope it's the former, srsly.
As always, I hope all of you are doing great =) I wasn't on IM a lot this week because of all this work, so I'm sorry if I missed you. There are a few emails I haven't responded to, yet, that I promise I will!
Love you all <33
-skybluekid
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Winter
It's getting colder. I'm told it will start snowing soon. I don't know how I feel about that, to be honest.
In Los Angeles, the winters are much like the summers: cool and breezy. And dry. It's true that the sun doesn't shine quite as warm, and the morning light gives off a slightly-bluer hue, but overall, not much changes. Here, though, the leaves are turning a crunchy amber, and the geese are making their way to warmer climates. Soon, the snowfall will claim the last of the grassy fields and throw the land into a cool stasis.
Maybe that's just the type of solace I need. A sort of break from the world; the hum of activity. In Los Angeles, the city never sleeps, and even in the dead of night you can almost hear the molecules of air buzzing from the heat the desert sun left just the day before.
This week was good. I knocked out two of my tests in short order, leaving only my math and economics exam. Math will be interesting. I am aware of, partly, how to do most of the tasks that will be on the test; however, my confidence in my math abilities is strained from years of failing at basic maths (I never did well in algebra, geometry, algebra 2, or precalc, all of which I took in high school). I think my average grade was barely a C, and I had to repeat several of the subjects in the proceeding summers.
Either way, I'll find out just how well I'll do come Tuesday. My math exam will be at bright and early 8am. I can hardly wait >.<
I picked up a project with a friend of mine back home (more computery stuff; mainly programming). It's short, easy, but will pay nicely. I can probably crank it out in a mere 8 hours, so it's definitely weekend work for sure. And I think I'll enjoy doing it. My friend works for an IT company and does a lot of this kind of coding, but he doesn't have time to give things a nice polish. I, fortunately, do have time, so I shall polish things, and get paid =)
I have a meeting with the school's IT department manager this coming Monday. I went into the office on Wednesday to see if I can talk to someone, and it turns out I've been courting the wrong department this whole time. See, the IT department is actually two departments: one handles network infrastructure, VoIP, and telecommunications, and the other handles servers and workstations. I want to work for the latter, but I've been talking to people from the former, and that's why my resume hasn't been looked at yet. Makes sense, I suppose, when you think about it, but you really can't tell from just the outside. It all looks like one unified place. So yeah, Monday. Should be interesting. The manager's getting back from a training session in California, so I think we'll have something to talk about to break the ice =P
Also on Monday, I have a meeting with the school newspaper staff. I met some nice people when I visited the office earlier this week, and they invited me to attend their little gathering to talk about stories I want to write. They also need help with their website, but they indicated they were going to staff that out to a paid position through the Ontario Work Study Program, which, as an international student, I don't qualify for. Oh, well. It's not that I actually want to work on their website. It's just that, I saw that as sort of a way to get my foot in the door. But, if I impress them with my writing skills, maybe I can get my foot in through that door. We'll see =)
Next week will be interesting for sure, and if things go well, I'll have much to share come the end of the week.
There are a few other things on my mind, but I don't want to clutter up this post with those things, at the moment. Maybe I'll make another post expounding on those things later. Either way, I have to run, and grab dinner at the school before the cafeteria closes.
Thanks to all of you who have subscribed, messaged, and emailed. Looking forward to talking to you guys <33
-skybluekid
In Los Angeles, the winters are much like the summers: cool and breezy. And dry. It's true that the sun doesn't shine quite as warm, and the morning light gives off a slightly-bluer hue, but overall, not much changes. Here, though, the leaves are turning a crunchy amber, and the geese are making their way to warmer climates. Soon, the snowfall will claim the last of the grassy fields and throw the land into a cool stasis.
Maybe that's just the type of solace I need. A sort of break from the world; the hum of activity. In Los Angeles, the city never sleeps, and even in the dead of night you can almost hear the molecules of air buzzing from the heat the desert sun left just the day before.
This week was good. I knocked out two of my tests in short order, leaving only my math and economics exam. Math will be interesting. I am aware of, partly, how to do most of the tasks that will be on the test; however, my confidence in my math abilities is strained from years of failing at basic maths (I never did well in algebra, geometry, algebra 2, or precalc, all of which I took in high school). I think my average grade was barely a C, and I had to repeat several of the subjects in the proceeding summers.
Either way, I'll find out just how well I'll do come Tuesday. My math exam will be at bright and early 8am. I can hardly wait >.<
I picked up a project with a friend of mine back home (more computery stuff; mainly programming). It's short, easy, but will pay nicely. I can probably crank it out in a mere 8 hours, so it's definitely weekend work for sure. And I think I'll enjoy doing it. My friend works for an IT company and does a lot of this kind of coding, but he doesn't have time to give things a nice polish. I, fortunately, do have time, so I shall polish things, and get paid =)
I have a meeting with the school's IT department manager this coming Monday. I went into the office on Wednesday to see if I can talk to someone, and it turns out I've been courting the wrong department this whole time. See, the IT department is actually two departments: one handles network infrastructure, VoIP, and telecommunications, and the other handles servers and workstations. I want to work for the latter, but I've been talking to people from the former, and that's why my resume hasn't been looked at yet. Makes sense, I suppose, when you think about it, but you really can't tell from just the outside. It all looks like one unified place. So yeah, Monday. Should be interesting. The manager's getting back from a training session in California, so I think we'll have something to talk about to break the ice =P
Also on Monday, I have a meeting with the school newspaper staff. I met some nice people when I visited the office earlier this week, and they invited me to attend their little gathering to talk about stories I want to write. They also need help with their website, but they indicated they were going to staff that out to a paid position through the Ontario Work Study Program, which, as an international student, I don't qualify for. Oh, well. It's not that I actually want to work on their website. It's just that, I saw that as sort of a way to get my foot in the door. But, if I impress them with my writing skills, maybe I can get my foot in through that door. We'll see =)
Next week will be interesting for sure, and if things go well, I'll have much to share come the end of the week.
There are a few other things on my mind, but I don't want to clutter up this post with those things, at the moment. Maybe I'll make another post expounding on those things later. Either way, I have to run, and grab dinner at the school before the cafeteria closes.
Thanks to all of you who have subscribed, messaged, and emailed. Looking forward to talking to you guys <33
-skybluekid
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